My new Space

SO its Tuesday night and I am in my new apartment with my roomate I found online. New York is such a different place in comparison to Florida. I feel like I needed to escape for life in the south and relocate to the north. It is so funny that once you get what you want its like you really never wanted it in the first place. I feel so sad here without my friends amd my family. I cried today so hard I felt like it would never stop. I sobbed and sobbed and wanted to just go back home. I need this for myself, I need to learn how to be alone, on my own and also how to change my own tires and light bulb, prepare a meal for myself. I was so spoiled with my mom always having dinner at home for me and even spreading my bed if I was in a rush in the daytime before work.

She drove up here with me amd to seperate at the airport was like the hardest part. My mother never cries and I do not around her either. For us to seperate at the airport like that was the hardest thing I think I have ever done. Ok Ok No more tears please. They return... My first day is tomorrow at this new company in NY I will tell you what happend.

Talk later :)

Goodbye

My farewell party made me tear up the entire time. I got all the food prepared and all the invites were sent out about a week prior. My friends all showed up and expressed their love for me. I will miss everyone oh so badly. Everything makes me cry. I don't think I have cried this much in my entire life. I will miss my mother, Kimberlys infectious laugh, Lori and her daughter, Awa and her caring thoughts, Edwith and her very funny jokes. The list goes on with all the people I will miss. Most of all I will miss my mother.

Now I am at the dealer getting my car serviced. Its going to be like $500.00 WTH (what the hell lol). ALright.

Talk later

Love Come Down.

Last night when I got home I felt so lonely as usual. I chatted with a couple friends before laying down to sleep. My body was so tired but my mind was wide awake. I had the chance to watch a movie called, "Love Come Down" with Larenz Tate and Deborah Cox. I think that movie was so well written it was based on true events. Its about drugs, abuse, love and the need for a family. If you have a chance to watch this movie you should. At the end of the movie I just sat there crying. The movie was so touching. It makes you realize how much you have and to appreciate what you have.

Anyways so I just woke up and talking to a wonderful friend of mine. Her words are ones of constant comfort we shared so many years together. Today I have the day off and have to prepare for my farewell party to NY!

Talk Later :)

Story of my life. I am about to embark on a new chronicle in my life and it seems that this is the only place I can express myself without judgement. Its 122am and I live in South FLorida. In a few short hours I will be relocating for the first time to another city. I will be alone in upstate New York. I will explain the entire reasoning behind that specific location and we shall try to figure out why I do the thing that I do. Its such a long story but I will start of from the beginning.